Swimming Boats: It's 5 PM: Do you know what your boat is doing?

News has just come in regarding unexpected behavior in boats. According to a website describing activity in Conesus Lake, one of the minor Finger Lakes of upstate New York,

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Vitale Park

On the northern end of Conesus Lake, this park has a shallow sand-filled swimming area where boats can drop anchor and jump out and swim in the shallow water. There is also a playground, and there is usually some type of concert on Sunday evenings.

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Sailors, swimmers, water-skiers, canoeists, and other lake users are hereby warmed to keep a sharp lookout for Swimming Boats. Remember, that even though a Swimming Boat should yield right of way to swimmers and paddlers, that the actual behavior of Swimming Boats can be highly unpredictable.

It is possible that the behavior of the Swimming Boats may be influenced by the type of music played during the concerts mentioned in the website, particularly if large numbers of Swimming Boats congregate to listen to the concerts. It would be perhaps safer if Wagner's Ring Cycle, heavy metal/thrash, or rap music were not played at these concerts in the presence of large numbers of Swimming Boats.

Boat owners: Have you observed any unusual accumulations of bilge water, soggy boat cushions, etc., especially during dry periods? Perhaps this is a sign that your boat has gone swimming.

Marina owners, Park rangers, and responsible boaters should report any incidents involving Swimming Boats to the proper authorities.

Irresponsible boaters presumably can keep drinking after sighting a Swimming Boat until they get a more interesting hallucination or until they (either the irresponsible boaters, or the Swimming Boats, if the latter are in violation of any local ordinances) are observed by the aforementioned marina owners, park rangers, and responsible boaters, and detained.