More from the Slimefest

On the way home today, after beaching my kayak in the mud by our neighborhood's lake access point, I got some mud on my feet that had to be washed off at the house. That didn't take long.

It wasn't until afterward that I learned of some much more odiferous, long-lasting muck and mire, also known as news from the sleazefest formerly known as the America's Cup Yacht Race, more recently turned into an expanding career field for attorneys, solicitors, card sharps, hustlers, procurers, pirates, panderers, Swiss billionaires, and other delightful citizens of the netherworld.

Hints are now being let out about the secret cheaters' agreement made between cup defender Bertarelli (via his legal squadrons and SNG club creation) and the International Sailing Federation, ISAF. It seems that the application of racing rules 62 and 64 may be abridged in their secret deal, perhaps allowing Bertarelli to curb the power of any pesky juries or judges and control any annoying redress situations.

In other words, Bertarelli isn't content to be merely the event organizer and defending champion; he seems to want to be judge, jury, and executioner of the Cup as well.

After all, who would want such a thing as fair competition with transparent, even-handed rules administered by impartial judges? Certainly not the one responsible for organizing that travesty of sport called the America's Cup Defense.

Conflict of interest? No conflict at all -- in each of his roles he's in total harmony on his plans to befoul the oldest trophy in sport.

Oh yes, he may have also found a creative way to wreck the work that went into the design of Oracle's boat by applying an "interesting" or "creative" measurement interpretation -- and maybe even assigning himself ultimate power over any measurement disputes. That's also par for the course for this Captain of Slime.

If it has secretly agreed to limit its own powers to enforce fair competition and provide for just redress, ISAF may have seriously damaged its own credibility and given sailors significant reasons to doubt its ability to serve as a fair, unbiased referee for the sport.

What's next? How low can these clowns sink the sport's reputation? Will it get so bad that pro wrestlers, track touts, back-alley pool hustlers, roller derby queens, cock fight promoters, and television reality show hosts will refuse to associate with sailing lest it damage their reputations and tarnish their sports by association?


Update: Sailing Anarchy reveals that the secret agreement between Big billionaire Bertarelli (via Societe Nautique Geneva/SNG) and the International Sailing Federation is no longer secret.

<<....the agreement gives SNG wide-ranging unilateral powers over both ISAF and GGYC in the running and judging of the next Cup match. one section ... "gives SNG carte blanche to do whatever they want and ISAF can't say 'no'." Why? Because that same clause expressly requires ISAF to sign off on any Amendment to the RRS or existing interpretation of the Rules that SNG feels like dreaming up....>>

Naughty Notion for the Cat-Dog Amerca's Cup Match

Since Ernesto Bertarelli and Larry Ellison are no doubt worried about the development and overall expenses for the America's Cup Deed of Gift match on exotic catamarans, let me offer a helpful suggestion.

Let Ernesto and Larry slug it out one-on-one in West Wight Potter 15 "keel yachts".

That would cut out most development, crew, and sail expenses, setting a radically altered template and amazing new precedent for affordability. Future America's Cups could receive a flood of entries from dozens or even hundreds of America's Cup contending teams. Even entries from bogus Spanish yacht clubs owned by absentee tycoons could be welcomed.

The West Wight Potter's compact shippy looks and "cute" factor would no doubt bring new demographics to the audience mix and global television advertising package, further ensuring this choice's success. And, if you think WWP 15's are cute now, wait until you see them all decked out in color-coordinated sponsor advertising and fully endowed with all the best racing technology.

Plus, massive trickle-down technology transfer would no doubt revolutionize the West Wight Potter racing scene. We could envision all manner of high-tech gear being used by professional-caliber sailors as a transformative paradigm for "Potter Yachters".


Photo copyright 2004 International Marine, from West Wight Potter 15 gallery, www.westwightpotter.com

Sail racing's biggest names might soon be deserting their Farr, 49er, J/24, Melges, Star, Sunfish, TP52, VOR60, and even Laser sailing yachts in favor of the unique experiences awaiting them upon the West Wight Potter. They might even be joined by top racing talent from the MacGregor X and Force 5 world circuits. Imagine cut-throat competition with yachting's top names precisely jockeying their West Wight Potters into position as they exert maximum performance from the yachts in close quarters.

Also, it seems that designation of an appropriate Southern Hemisphere venue would solve many of the nitpicking difficulties in regard to Mutual Consent for the Cup Venue. May I nominate Cape Horn? The visual excitement of this venue would certainly compensate for any perceived (unfairly and unjustly, Potter Yachters would naturally insist) limitations of the West Wight Potter Keel Yacht. Of course, as steadfast Potter Yachters might remind other sailors, the West Wight Potter 15's conservative rig, enclosed cabin, and buoyant design would complement the choice of venue.

This site also eliminates the fears of terrorism or piracy; even a terrorist wouldn't be stupid enough to fool around Cape Horn, but the venue wouldn't be any problem for most billionaire sailboat racers.



Photo copyright Nikolay Murenets, "Kolyamour" from Trek Earth site

That's it, crew: Two West Wight Potter 15s, the mighty Southern Ocean, and every sailor's ultimate icon, the great Cape, are made into a winning combination with the oldest trophy in sport.